Lost chance

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women’s locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with women grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What’s the matter haven’t you ever seen a little boy before?"

Bible basics

A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it.
What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
"Mama, look what I found", the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?"
With astonishment he answered, "I think it’s Adam’s underwear".

Wasting time

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I’m just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can’t read, I can’t write and they won’t let me talk."

Dieting tip

A man succeeded in getting his wife to diet by telling her, "Do you realise that there are 40 pounds of you that I’m not legally married to?"

Checkmate

The rich aunt was disappointed and said to her nephew, "I’m sorry you don’t like your gift. I asked you if you preferred a large check or a small check."
"I know, auntie," the nephew said contritely, "but I didn’t know you were talking about neckties."

Spot on

A father thought it was about time to lecture his son, who was somewhat scatter-brained and frivolous.
"Jim," he said, "You’re getting to be a man now and you ought to take life more seriously. Just think... if I died all of a sudden, where would you be?"
"I’d be right here, dad," said Jim. "The question is where would YOU be?"

Smart SMS

A young man studying in a college abroad sent this SMS to his father: ‘Dear dad, no mon, no fun, your son’.
The father replied: ‘Dear son, too bad, so sad, your dad’.

Fast fix

A woman answers her front door to find a plumber standing there. "I’m here to fix the leaky pipe." "I didn’t call a plumber." "Aren’t you Mrs. Snyder?"
"The Snyders moved out of this house over a year ago." "How do you like that. They call you up and tell you it’s an emergency and then they move away."

Good job

Peter was telling a friend that he had just lost his job.
"Why did the foreman fire you?" the friend asked in surprise. "Oh," Peter said, "you know how foremen are. They stand around with their hands in their pockets watching everybody else work."
"We all know that," replied his friend. "But why did he let you go?" "Jealousy," answered Pete. "All other workers thought I was the foreman."

Perfect couple

Looking at a couple in the market, the husband remarked: "Now, that looks like a happily married couple." "Don’t be too sure, my dear. They are probable saying the same thing about us." replied his wife.

Real friend

Just after David expelled his maid, she took five bucks from her purse & threw it to the family dog. When David asked the reason, she answered: I never forget a friend. This was because of helping me clean the dishes all the time!

Little boy

A little boy got into the women's change room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

Heaven or hell

A little girl was talking to her teacher about an accident.Girl: Ma'm, My friends say John was run over by a car.Teacher: No no, baby, he was killed when a bus hit him.Girl insisted: I am sure he was run over by a car. I'll ask John when I go to heaven.Irritated teacher: What if John went to hell.Girl: Then you ask him.

Burglar

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court." said the Sergeant.
"No, no no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house so silently without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"

Toothbrush

A 4 year old kid came out of the bathroom to tell his mother he had dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. Mother fished it out and threw it in the garbage. He thought for a moment, then ran to bathroom and came out with his mom’s toothbrush. He said with a charming little smile: We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it also fell in the toilet a few days ago.